Humour me ... an ability to be playful during disagreements helps your partnership. Photo: iStock
Having a chuckle at yourself and the world are great ways to engage workmates, good mates and even soul mates.
Most of us have heard about the long-proven connection between laughter and a healthy body. A good belly laugh relaxes muscles, boosts the immune system and gets our bodies to release endorphins - reducing stress and helping relieve pain.
More recently, many studies have shown sharing a few yuks is a superb way to create healthy relationships with our loved ones, friends and work colleagues.
Laugh your way to love
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What's the No.1 characteristic women look for when they're placing an ad at online dating sites? Not ''millionaire''. Not ''muscular build''. And never ''must have a ring finger longer than his pointer'' (for those who have been following the news).
Women are smart/deep/intuitive enough to know that ''VGSOH'', or being able to laugh with your partner, is one of the most important necessities for a healthy relationship. My wife, Allie, and I almost never fight but when we do it's a doozy. So recently we decided if things get heated one of us can declare ''Muppet Time'', which means from then on we can say (or scream) anything as long as we use a sock puppet nominated by the other. Needless to say, the all-in brawls between Allie's ''Newcastle Knight'' and my ''Princess Pink'' pop sock don't last long.
The shared release of endorphins caused by laughter and playful communication triggers positive feelings and creates a bond of goodwill, which works as a buffer against the inevitable disagreements that come along.
So, when those typical conflicts arise about her dinner, your dress sense or whether it's better to squeeze the toothpaste tube from the top or the bottom, the good vibes you both felt earlier while wetting yourselves at the latest Curb Your Enthusiasm make your tussle seem not as threatening. (For the record, it's ''from the bottom'', of course.)
Cackle to build creativity
As well as making you attractive to potential lovers, the ability to laugh, play and share a joke is a sure-fire way to help you be a hit with colleagues by the way it encourages teamwork, promotes problem solving and helps people be more creative.
One study found watching sitcoms for an hour made people more likely to solve a given puzzle than those in a ''natural'' state of mind. Humour encourages the mind to ''broaden and build'', which means it doesn't get locked into habitual ways of thinking but stays open and constructive.
Life will always bring challenges and hard times but often if we stay light by asking, ''What's funny here?'' or, ''Will I be laughing about this by Christmas?'', we can keep them at the level of puzzles to be solved rather than catastrophes.
The butt of your own joke
That brilliant observer of human nature, novelist Jane Austen, wrote, ''For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and to laugh at them in our turn?''
When we consider how many of us relentlessly try to cover up all our faults and frailties, it's ironic that studies have shown it's incredibly engaging when people share embarrassing moments and laugh at themselves. The ability to not take yourself too seriously is a strong indicator of resilience and deep personal confidence - both very attractive characteristics.
I run a program called ''Be More Funnier'' where I help people increase the ''gags per minute'' in their speeches and presentations. The most common fear people have about trying to be funny is, ''What if it all goes wrong?''. I say ''fantastic'' and explain that the relationship you have with an audience is just like the ones you have off stage.
If they see you make mistakes, admit you stuffed up, then laugh at yourself, they'll adore you (and think ''thank god it's them, not me''). When I'm speaking I absolutely love it when things go totally pear-shaped. If someone's phone goes off in the middle of my best joke? Great.
I did an after-dinner gig and there was a blackout. Then I walked into a pole and cut my eye. The crowd saw me comfy on stage, laughing at how messed up the gig had become, so my relationship with them was always going to be open and relaxed.
So if you want more friends, more love, more from life, set the chuckles free. And most importantly, laugh at yourself (your friends already do!).
HMMMM,It definitely seems that laughter was always the best medicine.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that..
Best regards,
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